Anything romantic to say ...

I sat down to write 
a romantic poem 
confessing I love you. 
However, I guess I’m not 
in a romantic mood today, 
as I couldn’t find 
anything romantic to say. 
The words it seems 
have left my head, 
which only leaves me 
one thing to do, 
and that is to go to bed.

Just me

Just me .
This is me , alone , taking the responsibility of my life
I'm on my way pursuing something  that you might defy
You were trying to stop me  and I know you can't
Maybe I'm just doing the right thing at the wrong time .
Life is ceaseless
There's no destination but how I'm going to live it to the fullest
You were trying to tell me that I was wrong
You were trying to get me back onto the ''right track''
You said that was impossible
I'm telling you everything seems impossible until it is done

Don't , Don't rule over the world .
Your measurement can't sustain the world .
For I'm born unique .
Let the current of the river flows freely ..
follow the current ...
Chase the sun .

The laws

Greed is a part of human nature, so you are , so I am .
We aspire to seek the truth as we're all living in the world with massive uncertainties
We can get a vast number of answers with only one question
So we get confused , nothing could be trusted .
Our faith get immovable and unwaving only when there's a law which is fixed by its own value , assumptions and proofs , so we obey .
I've seen a lot of books titled ''how to be success'' , '' the secret '' , '' 10 steps to fulfill your dreams ''
we bought it , 'cause we are attracted by its delicious titles that brought you to the fancies that you ever dreamed of .
We're always seek of something to gratify our desires or satisfaction .
We want an exact , precise , accurate answer that never fails
We've been watchful for every step we've taken as if we're gonna fall the next second without attention
We've been living in stress , frets , anxiety when there's no '' 100-percent-guaranteed-money-payback-stuff''.
We were losing our faith all the time , all the time ..

This is a great vacation that I soaked in the sea of knowledge , swam through the brains of awesome people all around the world without really walk out of my bedroom .
''the secret'' revealed to me that something called '' law of attraction '' is the key to life ,
everything you ever wanted in your life will be granted just by the manifestation of Law of attraction .
That sounds pretty seductive , isn't it ?
The greatest people in history : Plato , Shakespeare , Newton , Newton , Hugo , Beethoven , Lincoln , Emerson , Edison , Einstein ... KNEW this .
and follow on the book revealed a lotta proces on manisfesting it in our lives and the explanation of it ..
After all , I won't call it the '' law of attraction '' , I'll call it  '' God's law'' .

Ask , believe , receive .
Visualization , Believing , clearly know what are you wishing , you bright future .. your precious thoughts ..
Rhonda Bryne isn't the great one , it's been revealed a long time ago ..as I've seen it in James Allen's masterpiece -- As a man thinketh , it even explains more than this but just never emphasize the name -- law of attraction but the importance of thoughts of humankind that .

''As a man thinketh in his heart so is he ''
                                                      ----James Allen

Feel Good and believe in the unseen .
it were all taught in the books of bible
How foolish I am now that I only realize that Bible is the matrix of all kinds ...the way , the truth , the life that Jesus affirmed .
It is the perfect guideline of life .
His grace is sufficient . All we have to do is to only OBEY His laws , the God's laws .
I once read stuffs about the frequency of brain waves that every thought of yours emits a frequency to the universe and the universe will somehow reflect the frequency and makes that thing happens in your life .
You attracted everything that happened in your life , you just don't know it . No matter it's done by deliberate or unconcious thoughts , it did happened only by your thoughts .

''We live in a universe in which there are laws , just as there is a law of gravity . If you fall off a building it doesn't matter if you're a good person or a bad person , you're going to hit the ground ''
                                                                                                    -----Michael Beckwith
That's it . It doesn't matter it's a good thought or bad thought , the universe is gonna reflect whatsoever the frequency it received so that there's good and bad events appeared in your life . It's hard to swallow that someone will ask , '' I don't attract that car accident , I don't attract those debts , I don't attract those sickness '' Well , it's too much madness to explain in one text and I'll shorten it into one passage---->

''Nothing can come into your experience unless you summon it through persistent thoughts ''

Maybe life is a myth but all we have to do is to keep moving on .
Someone told me that life is just like riding a bicycle . In order to keep it balance , you have to keep moving .
Just venture a little over the past for the very first step , just the first step .

''Take the first step in faith .You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step ."
                                                                                    ------Dr.Martin Luther King Jr .

Have faith . non-stop believing . it's just the time matters . don't care how it will come , just keep moving and
FEEL GOOD .


 Reference ------->         ''The secret'' by Rhonda Byrne                                    :)

Troublesome world , troublesome words ...

If time reversed ,
i'll knock my head hard and scold myself badly for not doing the mistakes
it feels like God isn't with me
it feels like i'm losing my faith
it makes thing overall worthless

It life reversed ,
i'm gonna go through all the pain again .
seeing this cruel world
killing each other

fire the guns ..
to gain all the reputation the position you looking for

Had asked a thousand WHYs...
At the time i thought i found the answer but it turned out the other way just the second I turned back my head
I can't trust myself ,
I can't trust anybody ...
No one on earth is gonna give me the EXACT answer
I need something that could give me anything i desire ...
I reminded myself ..
i got it once ...
why everything is lost now ?
why did i do that ?
why there isn't anything to inspire me to go in an inspirational way like people did ?

and i back again ..
i think ...
is it me ?

is it me doing the wrong way ?
im not enough ..
but why nobody there is going to assist me ?
God ?

So i go back to the way i used to go ...
and i lose ..
everything ... everything ...

and it begins with a prayer ..again
as the starting point
''Dear God ,

  Thank You  for been crucified at the Cross for me ...
  You were screaming ... never whining ....... and showed ur greatest LOVE through your precious bleeds
  God , and i have whined , doubted , repeated my sins ..
  I'm sorry for what I did .
  I succumbed to the reality easily and  i'm so weak .. i thought everything is gonna be fine ...
  I thought i got all the positive mind i need to have ..
 but I just cant show it up .
 I thought I have all the guts i need .
 I could make a thousand bunjee jumps without any hesitation
 but that's not what i need .
 I need YOU ...
to whisper to me ..
just a little words ..PLease ...
forgive all my sins .
provide me endless power that i could be the light and the salt of the world
I want my family to get saved ...
I want my friends could know you better ...
Please ...fulfill my prayers
It's gonna be another day ... and it's only ONE DAY ,
Please... help me to make the most of my day .
Shrink all my dignity so i can be a better person
Provide me faith , hope and love
so i'll be a WHOLE person
so i'll stand ..
my life is yours so please fully use me ...
to glorify You ...someday ...
God , thank you for hearing my prayers

I asked these things in Your most holy and precious name , and I thank You for making me a Christian.
Amen ! ''

Words of mine ..to You , Lord .

Dear God ,

I know I'm not the holy one , frankly...
Somehow i'll fear the most pious men in my life
--- pastor , minister , preacher ....
as if they can see through all my sins and shortcomings
we human tends to run away from you even though we know we cant .
How stupid i am .
To walk on my own path .
and i know who the heck pulling me away from Your path
is there anyway to kill him ?
to kill those evils within me so that i can be as holy as You .
But i know i cant ,
Im so weak .
sometimes i'm blessed enough ,
people said im lucky but i know that's grace .
How long does it takes to see You ?
How long do I still have to undergo these pains ?
How ..

God ,
Why cant You speak to me ?
I've heard a lotta ppl surrounding me ,
told me that they have heard Your voices ..that leads them to a better life
is that mean You neglected me ?
Is there anyway to help me to get Your attentions ?

Something unconsciously conjured up my mind .
telling me that You are watching me .
Is there anything You want to do through me ?
God , I'll never read your mind , I can't .
Why don't You just tell me directly ?
So that I won't be able to go the wrong path that may disappoint you

Jesus ,
I'm  sorry .
I have doubted You ,
whined at You ,
and killed You .
I know I'm a man of little faith .
I don't deserve Your salvation .
I'm a wicked man who hurt You
but I Love You just the same
Just tell me if there's anything i could help in this earthly world
and I'll do ,
without any hesitation .

Please ,
save the world .
The world needs You .

Please,
show me the way .
and be the light upon my feet .

God ,
I love you .

Arise !

"I say to you , Arise !"
How I long to hear Him speaks to me
To nurture every step I'm doing 

3 months passed ,
Her grins pissed me
I know it's out of my jealousy and I hate it frankly .
Oh God please eliminate those evils within me
I know I'm gonna mount up with the wings of eagle .
We're just born to lose .
Stay strong , Peggy !

Lesson Learned ,

I was sitting on a bench right in front of the bookstore
A malay woman was sitting next to me , embracing a little baby .
She kept coaxing the baby boy and i was reading my devotions

Her baby trailer fell down ,
Apparently she was quite hard to pick it up as she was carrying a baby in one hand

Damn , i was HESITATING then a woman came and helped her to pick it up
I was ashamed .
I cursed at myself : PEGGY , YOU'RE SUCH A JERK !
i just simply couldn't forgive myself
so i prayed .
asked for forgiveness and help
If time reversed , i'm surely going to help her immediately .

Then the chance came ,
her milk bottle dropped and rolled to me .
I picked it up immediately and gave her a smile .
That really made me felt much more better .
Sometimes you really need courage to do good deeds
though you know it's a virtue to be helpful
I have to stop thinking in that way 

It blocks and keep me away from good deeds
what an evil .  

i THANK GOD for listening to my prayers and realized it
For HE gave me a great lesson today

Repent on the mistakes you do , ask for forgiveness , trying to accept the jerk u were , make a change .