Words of mine ..to You , Lord .

Dear God ,

I know I'm not the holy one , frankly...
Somehow i'll fear the most pious men in my life
--- pastor , minister , preacher ....
as if they can see through all my sins and shortcomings
we human tends to run away from you even though we know we cant .
How stupid i am .
To walk on my own path .
and i know who the heck pulling me away from Your path
is there anyway to kill him ?
to kill those evils within me so that i can be as holy as You .
But i know i cant ,
Im so weak .
sometimes i'm blessed enough ,
people said im lucky but i know that's grace .
How long does it takes to see You ?
How long do I still have to undergo these pains ?
How ..

God ,
Why cant You speak to me ?
I've heard a lotta ppl surrounding me ,
told me that they have heard Your voices ..that leads them to a better life
is that mean You neglected me ?
Is there anyway to help me to get Your attentions ?

Something unconsciously conjured up my mind .
telling me that You are watching me .
Is there anything You want to do through me ?
God , I'll never read your mind , I can't .
Why don't You just tell me directly ?
So that I won't be able to go the wrong path that may disappoint you

Jesus ,
I'm  sorry .
I have doubted You ,
whined at You ,
and killed You .
I know I'm a man of little faith .
I don't deserve Your salvation .
I'm a wicked man who hurt You
but I Love You just the same
Just tell me if there's anything i could help in this earthly world
and I'll do ,
without any hesitation .

Please ,
save the world .
The world needs You .

Please,
show me the way .
and be the light upon my feet .

God ,
I love you .